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..1 You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.3. You think Central Park is “nature.”4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression-OR-You can retire to Michigan where...1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.-OR-You can retire to The Deep South where...1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.2 “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.3. “He needed killin” is a valid defense.4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy. I watched as the two girls started swaying their hips in front of the music player.After that first song was nearly finished, the girl who'd hit me up for the dollar came over and slid herself into the booth across the way from where I sat."I let Dee pick out half the songs. She picked that one we just played. I picked this one." As she said this, "Everybody Loves Somebody" by Dean Martin started playing. "Why don't you ask me to dance, mister?" I would, except I can't dance." This was almost true. I could dance, but didn't want to make a fool of myself by staggering around with her while I was already more than half in the bag from all those earlier drinks I'd finished. "What's your name?" I go by Sue Lee. I don't much care for the name my mother saddled me with. Earlene. She named me after an old aunt of hers." She made a pouting face as she told me this. "If you don't want to dance with me, then you ought to buy me a drink, to make up for my hurt feelings."There were several small.
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